Those vanished years
After 7 years being fed with a love(*) uninterpretably lonely, the “devil and his angels” withing me - the adversaries of God’s will - were suddenly forced down to earth. The year was 2009.
And immediately, a great tribulation was instituted. A state of mental illness began.
And the increasing need to fill the gap left in the heart’s memory took place.
The love’s memory of those vanished years.
(*) Understanding and satisfaction at all times.
Free from the painful karmic chains for 7 years. Spiritually vanished from the world.
Free of the painful karmic chains, inherited from parents and shared by brothers.
Pain that forced me to quit my job that day in 2001.
And had broken down my path 4 years earlier.
The slave-warrior, commander of my willingness within, had died.
For my own will I had never wished for anything in life. Nor did I have anything planned.
I didn’t have any purpose in life. And I didn’t have any fear nor desire of living the professional life.
I had only followed my brother’s call. And his advice. 1994. For the technician school. That damn federal.
And when I finally had assumed my place. I began to feel that I was in the wrong place.
I was blind, for the first time in my life, when I did what they asked me to do. 1995.
And I lost myself for the first time in my life, when I went where they asked me to go. 1997.
I’ve realized, after some years, that I should’ve quitted.
But a slave-warrior without a purpose in his own life never sees when quitting is needed.
My parents were united by God
My family is made of great souls, the best of their kind
One’s name has a great meaning for those born of a couple united by God.
My family is one of those families.
One’s name has an even greater meaning in the life of those great souls, best of their kind.
My brothers and I are of that kind.
As the reader might already know, my name is Daniel.
The first born of my family is of the name Marcos, a latin origin name which means “Protected of Mars”. Mars here means the Roman god of war. Mars favors action over reflection.
Sees one’s attitude detached from the understanding of one’s reasons.
Whoever has a minimum level of understanding of mythology knows that.
All of that gives me an essential idea of his way of thinking and what is of more value for him.
An action or an attitude can be easily misunderstood.
Mars protects him, as his name says.
So, his actions and attitude are widely accepted without criticism.
That can be a serious problem.
Because he might be more willing to believe that he’s always right no matter what he does.
Like abandoning his family for a hot gym girl.
What the heck, Marcos!
Papa doesn't care, ‘cause you’ll always do the right thing to him, but mama’s watching from heaven!
And she 's upset!
Foreseeing my brother's future
You'll have to find your way back home.
I'm telling you: It won't be easy.
You'll need help.
And on behalf of your father's memory,
That you'll love more than anyone,
You will accept this mission.
But before that can happen,
You will have to pay for your sins.
Foreseeing my own future
Meanwhile I'll find my life
After becoming hated by everyone here, more than I already am
Because God has untied the knots that bind me to all of you
And the knots that bind me to myself.
And every knot untied is someone who doesn't recognize me anymore
And every knot untied in myself
It's a part of me I don't recognize anymore
In body, mind, heart and soul.
E por isso, haverá 7 anos de escuridão.
Quando eu serei abandonado por Deus
E terei perdido toda minha visão,
Enquanto eu estiver vivendo a minha vida
Ainda não sei onde, nem com quem, nem como.
O que sei é que irei casar e ter um filho.
Filho que vai negar o seu pai:
"Você não é o meu pai", ele dirá.
Enquanto o meu pai, do outro lado da vida,
Estiver sofrendo para expulsar o mal de dentro.
Gloriosa, porém duríssima batalha, eu já lhe adianto.
Porque mais vale sofrer pela verdadeira mudança
Do que viver a letargia da estagnação espiritual.
"Não há evolução sem resistência.
Tudo que é fácil não é garantido.
Toda evolução ascencional é difícil,
exige luta, sofrimento, resistência.
Estagnar é fácil. Descer é facílimo.
Subir é difícil. Toda evolução é uma subida,
e sem subida não há iniciação."
Quanto ao meu filho,
Ao invés de psiquiatra, e
Por amor a ele e a Deus,
Eu terei que ter a coragem e a visão
Para entender que a mão de Deus escreve direito,
Mesmo quando as linhas parecem tortas
E que haverá chegado o momento
De abandonar o meu amor e a minha vida
Para poder encontrar o meu Amor e a minha Vida:
"Quem achar a sua vida a perderá,
Mas quem quiser perder a sua vida por amor a Deus,
Este a salvará."
Mas "muitos os chamados, e poucos os escolhidos",
Dentro de mim mesmo, onde realmente importa.
E a batalha ficará muito mais difícil do que jamais foi.
Batalha do bem contra o mal, dentro de mim mesmo.
Mesmo agora, cego pela soberba, o único mundo que eu vejo é o mundo de Deus.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”